Yesterday, I read a Facebook post from one of my high school classmates. The post was, "If you want to get to know someone, show them your scars". I know that what she meant was all figurative and deep but my interpretation was a literal one. That little line of words really made me think, hence this post.
Just a few months ago I wouldn't have had any major scars to show. Sure, I have a few PICC scars and the faded marks on my abdomen where they stole my gallbladder but nothing that's ever drawn looks or questions, until now. Of course, I'm talking about my port scar. It ain't pretty. When I first realized that it was shaping up to be quite the scar I had to decide whether to cover it up or just let it be (cue The Beatles please). I say I had to "decide" but, truth be told, my mind was already made up; I wasn't going to let a scar change what I wore or how I acted. That didn't stop people from asking about it or noticing it though, one girl even asked if I'd had heart surgery! When curious folks question the cause for such a scar I usually tell them the truth (CF, IV antibiotics all the freakin' time, PICC's are bad, ports are good... the whole spiel). Pre-port I never would've told random strangers these details of my life, but post-port I acknowledge said details and discuss them quite frequently.
Every once in a while I do get self conscious about my scar and the teensy bump underneath it where my port sits. When that happens I just repeat the words my CF friend Tabitha (Fun fact: in the CF community other CF friends are called "Cysters" and "Fibros"... cute, huh?) once told me, "I don't feel embarrassed about it. It's a battle scar". Truer words were never spoken, er, typed. Circling back around to the whole point of this post, thank you random ladies in my life for making me appreciate silly things like the ice-breaking qualities of funky scars. Maybe nowadays I'm a little closer to everyone I meet because I choose to show them my scar.
Just a few months ago I wouldn't have had any major scars to show. Sure, I have a few PICC scars and the faded marks on my abdomen where they stole my gallbladder but nothing that's ever drawn looks or questions, until now. Of course, I'm talking about my port scar. It ain't pretty. When I first realized that it was shaping up to be quite the scar I had to decide whether to cover it up or just let it be (cue The Beatles please). I say I had to "decide" but, truth be told, my mind was already made up; I wasn't going to let a scar change what I wore or how I acted. That didn't stop people from asking about it or noticing it though, one girl even asked if I'd had heart surgery! When curious folks question the cause for such a scar I usually tell them the truth (CF, IV antibiotics all the freakin' time, PICC's are bad, ports are good... the whole spiel). Pre-port I never would've told random strangers these details of my life, but post-port I acknowledge said details and discuss them quite frequently.
Every once in a while I do get self conscious about my scar and the teensy bump underneath it where my port sits. When that happens I just repeat the words my CF friend Tabitha (Fun fact: in the CF community other CF friends are called "Cysters" and "Fibros"... cute, huh?) once told me, "I don't feel embarrassed about it. It's a battle scar". Truer words were never spoken, er, typed. Circling back around to the whole point of this post, thank you random ladies in my life for making me appreciate silly things like the ice-breaking qualities of funky scars. Maybe nowadays I'm a little closer to everyone I meet because I choose to show them my scar.
Don't forget your toe(s?)!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know honey, none of us gets through this bit without a scar or two...it can indeed be "that something" we all share.....if I have not told you yet make sure I tell you about the scar on the palm of my right hand and the subsequent betting that took place....guess it is a good thing it's legal in Nevada.
Love you.
-M