La Vida Loca

Yeah, I went there; I just used a Ricky Martin song to describe the months since my last post. Desperate times folks, desperate times.

So, let's catch up. I've been avoiding this post because I know I'm going to cry, it's inevitable. I wrote my last entry late at night on September 15th. The very next morning, just before 8 A.M., I received a call from my Grandma Helen. Her shaky voice immediately told me what I had suspected as soon as I saw her name on my caller I.D. at such an early hour, my Papa had passed away during the night in his sleep. The weeks that followed were sad, hectic, and confusing. I knew my papa's time on this Earth was short, I'd even mentioned that here, but it didn't make his funeral any easier to attend. My papa was incredible, truly incredible. Words can hardly do him justice. I am so lucky, blessed and fortunate to have had him in my life. See, told ya I'd cry.

So hi. Hi to everyone I've been neglecting and hi to my awesome friends and family who read my sporadic posts. I have to say that my decision to warm the bench this semester and not attend classes was such a smart one. This void in my schedule has allowed me to spend time with my grandma now that she's on her own while still maintaining my health. Now that I mention it, my health has been good verging on great. The only issues I've had have been port-related. In fact, my port issues call for their very own paragraph.

Since I got my port in May I've only used it for IV antibiotics once. I still head to the hospital once a month to have it flushed and ensure that there aren't any issues when I do need the line. When I went for my flush this month the nurse was unable to get any blood return from the line. The medication was flushing properly but when they pulled back for blood nothing happened. This is usually a bad sign. After a few tests the following week, my doctor decided it was simply a clot at the end of the line. While this clot prevents any blood draws from the port, it doesn't affect anything going into the line. So my port works... kinda. I wish it was fully functional but I'm just thankful it works at all! My doctor's first thought was that it would have to be removed. Phew! Dodged that bullet.

Other than my port drama, I've been in relatively good health. I did have to take a trip to the emergency room this weekend for what turned out to be a kidney infection. Uncharted territory for this girl! Luckily the cure was as simple as Cipro and some pain pills. I have a clinic visit coming up in a few weeks that will really tell the tale as to my overall health. If my doctor wants to do what I think he wants to do (which he will) I will probably end up in the hospital for a couple weeks at the end of December. The purpose for such a stay is what CF docs like to call "maintenance"; fancy schmancy talk for getting ahead of any and all infection. I'm by no means jazzed about any time I have to spend in the hospital but I won't protest too much this time. If I'm being truthful I will admit that I feel myself teetering on the edge of health and sickness so a "maintenance" stay might be for the best. I'll let y'all know what happens.

I hope this post finds you all happy, healthy, and already started on your Christmas shopping... unlike me.
:)

Frolick. Play. Treatments.

Coffee chats with Grandma Inez, laughs with my sister, lunch dates with Allie, lazy days watching my favorite shows, quality time with Grandpa, and lots of treatments... that's what I've been up to the past few weeks. I have been so pleased to spend my time with such amazing folks. I truly am so very lucky. Tomorrow night the fun and frolicking continues! How could I possibly top the activities listed above, you may ask... with MAROON 5 tickets of course (insert appropriate shriek here)!!! I love them oh so much and may or may not know their entire CD backwards and forwards. I'm more than a little excited. My friend Kelly and I are dressing up fancy-schmancy and going to dinner then the concert. Woohoo! I know, it's almost too much fun and excitement for one little blog post.

On a little less exciting note, I've also been fighting an infection that seems determined to inhabit the dark and scary parts of my lungs. Don't fret, I seem to have fought it off for the most part. Still feeling crumby in the mornings and at night but I have a few prime hours in the middle of the day when I am able to breath easier. The times when I can't breathe easy really freak me out. I don't know if it's unique to CF or if everyone feels this way but I swear that each illness or bug makes me feel less and less resilient. Very frustrating, especially since I'm such a basket case already. I'm a bit of a control freak, type A personality, and ultra claustrophobic with a giant side of anxiety, so when I feel like I can't breathe (as such is the nature of CF) I freak out a little... okay, more than a little... a lot. Just this bug that's been threatening to invade my lungs has been wiping me out. I am thankful that I've had the time and opportunity for rest these past few days. Alright, no more whining in this post; you have my word.

I promise to post a completely bias and adoring review of the concert in the next few days! Like I said, I am SO EXCITED. If you are reading this and you're one of the people mentioned in the first sentence of this post, I love  every second of my time with you. Just saying. :]

Taking A Break

Today is Cierra's first official day as a senior. Aaah!! So exciting. While Ce and most of my friends will be starting classes today, I will not. After much careful consideration and seeking of advice from all the right people, I have decided to take a semester off.

As many of you know, my last semester took quite a toll on me and my health. While I love school and always enjoy my classes, I think it would be best to make sure my health is on solid footing before I run myself into the ground again. Three of my four college semesters have ended with me in the hospital and I'm not eager to go through that again. Hopefully a few months off will allow me to focus on my treatments, raise my lung function numbers, and get the bugs that keep causing these severe exacerbations under control. Fingers crossed!

There was another major factor in this decision: my 93 year old grandpa. His health is failing quickly and I'm afraid that he won't be around much longer, much less at the end of the semester. His wife, my 80 year old grandma, also needs help and support as she has decided to keep him at home during his final months despite her failing health as well. Taking some time off of school will allow me to spend precious time with my grandpa and help Grandma care for him and herself.

Come spring I plan to enter the EKG Technician Certification course at TMCC. This course would open up a wealth of career opportunities while allowing me to finish my degree when I feel healthier. I'm pretty excited about this plan.

I've spoken to a few people who have adamantly argued against this decision but I'm confident that this is the best option for me right now. So much of Cystic Fibrosis is about getting ahead of infections and taking preventative actions; this is my preventative action. Thank you to my Aunt Maria, my dad, Allie, Grandma Inez and Cierra for being so supportive and just plain amazing. I love them!

Obsessed

Currently, I can't get enough of the following things:

-Iced, soy, sugar free, vanilla lattes
-Marc Anthony's voice
-Jensen Ackles' face
-Those wickless candle wax-melter things... my house smells amazing!
-Things that are mint scented
-The King's Speech
-Purple and green
-Girls nights with my Cierra and my Allie!
-Sleep
-"Faster" by Matt Nathanson
-Supernatural (possibly because of Jensen Ackles' face)

Just in case you were curious... or extremely bored. Either way, you're awesome.

Summer Adventure #1: Salem Wedding!

Like I said in an earlier post, this summer was INSANE. We had two weddings to attend in two different states, one of which my dad was officiating. Our first summer adventure was wedding number one in Salem, OR (not officiated by my father).

We drove up on a Tuesday and returned home the following Tuesday. Cierra, my dad, and I had a truly amazing time! The Jenkins also came up for the wedding (bonus!). The word that comes to mind when thinking about this trip is "fulfilling". While the folks that I call my "Oregon Family" aren't actually blood, I feel at home whenever I'm near them. And Salem, I kid you not, is one of the most beautiful and wonderful places on Earth. If you haven't visited you're missing out.

Ce and I spent almost every day helping out with pre-wedding craziness and preparations. It was a busy week but so worth it. I already miss my favorite Oregonians so much! Here are a few pictures from the wedding reception courtesy of the lovely Terry Jenkins (since my summer aversion to responsibility and commitment obviously extended to picture-taking). The wedding was perfect and reflected just how amazing the bride and groom are.

Summer adventure #1 = SUCCESS!

Emily, me,  & Cierra in our purdy dresses.

This picture made my day. Hilarious!

We so dang cute.

Familia!

Show 'Em Your Scars

Yesterday, I read a Facebook post from one of my high school classmates. The post was, "If you want to get to know someone, show them your scars". I know that what she meant was all figurative and deep but my interpretation was a literal one. That little line of words really made me think, hence this post.

Just a few months ago I wouldn't have had any major scars to show. Sure, I have a few PICC scars and the faded marks on my abdomen where they stole my gallbladder but nothing that's ever drawn looks or questions, until now. Of course, I'm talking about my port scar. It ain't pretty. When I first realized that it was shaping up to be quite the scar I had to decide whether to cover it up or just let it be (cue The Beatles please). I say I had to "decide" but, truth be told, my mind was already made up; I wasn't going to let a scar change what I wore or how I acted. That didn't stop people from asking about it or noticing it though, one girl even asked if I'd had heart surgery! When curious folks question the cause for such a scar I usually tell them the truth (CF, IV antibiotics all the freakin' time, PICC's are bad, ports are good... the whole spiel). Pre-port I never would've told random strangers these details of my life, but post-port I acknowledge said details and discuss them quite frequently.

 Every once in a while I do get self conscious about my scar and the teensy bump underneath it where my port sits. When that happens I just repeat the words my CF friend Tabitha (Fun fact: in the CF community other CF friends are called "Cysters" and "Fibros"... cute, huh?) once told me, "I don't feel embarrassed about it. It's a battle scar". Truer words were never spoken, er, typed. Circling back around to the whole point of this post, thank you random ladies in my life for making me appreciate silly things like the ice-breaking qualities of funky scars. Maybe nowadays I'm a little closer to everyone I meet because I choose to show them my scar.

Summer Slacker

Hi there!

It's been awhile. Too long, if you ask me. These past couple months have been busy, crazy, joyous, relaxing, stressful, and refreshing all at once! My lack of blogging has less to do with my summer plans and more to do with my hopes to avoid commitment, responsibility, and CF as much as possible this summer. Those of you who know me well know that I tend to over commit just a bit; this summer I tried my best not to. In fact, I tried to slack as much as humanly possible... and let me tell you, it felt GOOD. I do apologize for being so darn unreliable.

Anywhoo, this next week before school starts up again I will blog at least 2-3 times and chronicle my summer slacking. I also have some new things to write about regarding my plans for this semester. Yay!

Below is a little sneak peek of the fun I had this summer: me revving a '68 Chevy Impala SS convertible!! I hope each and every one of you enjoyed your summer as much as I did! :)

-Haley